|
Member Profiles
In the real world, the Ventura County Derby Darlins skaters, refs and volunteers are normal weirdos just like you: we teach your kids, edit your magazines, serve your drinks, deliver your mail, design your websites and steal your boyfriends.... ok… everything but the last one (most of the time). This section is intended to give you a small snapshot of who the Derby Darlins are both on and off the rink.
Click on the name of the member to jump straight to them, or just scroll our entire roster!
 |
Name: Abri Naughty
Number: 21:21
Teams: Zebras
Position: Volunteer (will be a skater very soon!)
Status: active
Member Since: Joining soon!
Quote: "Munkeyz R Kewl!"
Bio: Born & raised in Oxnard, CA, 6th child out of 8, proud mother.
Loves: My daughter Angelina (Baby Naughty Neck Cutta), Neck Cutta, Munkeyz & Roller Derby!
Hates: Ignorance.
Biggest Weakness: Baby Naughty N.C.'s sad face, Hot Cheetos & cheesecake.
Biggest Strength: Baby Naughty N.C.
Derby Wife: Neck Cutta
Number of Tattoos: 0
Awards: Being a mother.
Penalties: Being naughty...
Famous For: Being me!
Injuries: Child Birth. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Afternoon DD-Lite
Number: 34DD
Teams: Battalion of Skates and Sultry Seahags
Position: Jack of All Trades
Status: Active
Member Since: Jan 2008
Quote: "Make it work" usually in regards to something board related
when the shit is hitting the fan.
Bio: I am smart and have big bewbs, lucky me. Don't let my sweet exterior fool you and definitely don't underestimate me.
Loves: To see all the fans out there excited for derby, especially the little girls.
Hates: Drama.
Biggest Weakness: Stressing out on bout days.
Biggest Strength: Motivating the troops and being the league's 411 operator. :-)
Derby Wife: Pabst Smear Ribbon
Derby Husband: Andy Candy Pants
Number of Tattoos: Two and wouldn't you like to see them.
Awards: Squeaky Clean award - 2008
Penalties: When I get them: Cutting, Back Blocking, and Elbows
Injuries: Cracked ribs, bruised knee and ego.
|
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Andy CandyPants
Number: 2-QT
Team: VCDD
Position: Announcer / Bad Ass M.C. *LOL*
Status: Semi-Active
Member Since: Feb 08
Quote: "You must not know about me, bitch better ASK SOMEBODY!!"
Bio: Every girl needs a Homo, well, Im the homo to all these girls!!! I love VCDD, Ive been involved since Feb 2008, and it has changed my life. Plus, they let me use my big inappropriate foul mouth, on a mic!!! and I love them for it.
Loves: Sushi, tall, dark, handsome, scruffy men, tattoos, ROLLER DERBY, hard hitters, loud music, road trips, Vegas, red headed sluts (the drink you guys...the drink) venting about the world, laughing, making people laugh, and writing.
Hates: Drama, bullshit, two faced people, liars, people who don't own up to their shit and refuse to take personal responsibility, ignorance, intolerance, bigotry, tomatoes, gorey movies, haters, flakes, temper tantrums, dogs that don't shut up, inconsiderate drivers, beets, Paris Hilton; everything she is about, thinks, and has that she doesnt deserve.
Biggest Weakness: Brown eyes, nice ass, big shoulders, nice smile, tolerating crap for too long, chocolate, italian food, sushi.
Biggest Strength: Being awesome. hahahaha!
Derby Wife: Afternoon Double-D Lite.
Number of Tattoos: 4 (more to come).
Awards: Special Forces Award 2008
Penalties: Letting non-family-friendly words slip out during a game (oops).
Famous For: Being the Gay Guy with all the hot sexy girl friends
Injuries: Bruises....taken a few hits from Bettie 12Gage while announcing.
Other: I may have moved away, but I am FAR from gone. Don't you bitches forget it!! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Anti-Social Dee
Number: # 74
Teams: Battalion of Skates
Position: Blocker
Status: Active
Member Since: October 2008
Quote: "I prefer to knock'em down!"
Loves: My fan club President Potti Mouth Patty, knocking girls down, new wheels & snickerdoodles.
Hates: Being sent to the penalty box, a$$holes, dirty bearings & people that get real close to my face when they talk.
Biggest Weakness: Jamming & Lunges.
Biggest Strength: My years of pent up aggression.
Derby Wife: La Jefa
Number of Tattoos: A dozen or so...
Awards: Best Pivot, Energizer Bunny and Fisty
Penalties: Elbows
Injuries: Rink rash, many bruises, sprained knee & concussion. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Bettie 12GAGE
Number: 12G
Teams: Sultry Seahags & Vendolls
Position: To F you up or in derby lingo... Blocker.
Status: As active as they come.
Member Since: March 2007
Quote: "It's Bettie Bitch"
Bio: People think I'm mean and I hit too hard. They're right.
Loves: Giving can openers, scaring little kids, the term "if looks could kill", my derby wife and competition!
Hates: Sore losers, and sore winners for that matter, majors and quitters.
Biggest Weakness: Refs love to make calls on me.
Biggest Strength: I can brake through a pack like MegaTron and put everyone on their ass!
Derby Wife: Vicious Ticious
Number of Tattoos: Still counting...
Awards: Most Feared / Down & Dirty / Fisty Award / Best Ass
Penalties: I have a reserved seat.
Famous For: Kicking ASS!
Injuries: I GIVE the injuries around here.
Other: If you can take a hit from me...well, then you can take a hit from anyone! Bring it! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Bomb BeeZy
Number: TnT
Team: Ventura County Derby Darlins Ref Team
Position: Jam Ref, Pack Ref anywhere Ref
Status: Active and ready to Blow (my whistle that is)
Member Since: 2/07
Quote: "kwitcherbichen n skate..."
Bio: Mother of 2 major cuties SkAidan n the Baysian. They are my life and my reason for happiness...
Loves: Dr.Pepper, Rum, Bitch day at the Beach, Rum, Skatin my Ass off, Tattooed Frogs and did I mention Rum...
Hates: Haters, Shit Talkers, Boys w/o Tattoos, Heartache, No T.V. and girls who argue my calls... Errrr
Biggest Weakness: Hot Fogs w/ Tattoos... Yummy & Catchin elbows in a pack.
Biggest Strength: Willingness to approach and situation and conquer it.
Derby Wife: looking... mine moved away
Number of Tattoos: Lots
Awards: Havent gotten a Derby Award. Yet...
Penalties: I call em like I see em...
Famous For: Being the Bomb Biotchez...
Injuries: So far I have only gotten a fat lip from ShelBeast flyin into my face in a game. Luv U Shelbeast...
Other: Joining Derby was a must for me it totally changed my life. It took me away from the bad and brought me into a whole new world where I can be proud of who I am. Thank You VCDD |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Celtic Cowgirl
Number: 88
Teams: Battalion Of Skates & Sultry Seahags
Position: Pivot & Blocker.
Status: VCDD Maternity Leave
Member Since: January 2007
Quote: "Sometimes I wanna smack the smile off your face!!!"
Loves: My hubby and handsome son....roller derby, roller derby, roller derby!!!
Hates: Llamas, clowns, back blocks, elbows, people who think they're better than everyone else!
Biggest Weakness: Self tripping...ouch!
Biggest Strength: I have mad skating skills!!!
Number of Tattoos: 2
Famous For: Self-tripping. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Cheese
Number: Unlisted
Team: VCDD
Position: Volunteer Part-time Coach
Status: Intense, enthusiastic, determined.
Member Since: Jan 2010
Quote: "You're the boss, Little Mackie. I do what you say."
Bio: A former wrestler, rugger, and motorcycle racer. Recently discovered all those are pussy sports compared to roller derby.
Loves: Intensity, enthusiasm, determination.
Competition. Good company, good food, and good cheer. Solitude and wide open spaces. Film scores by Ennio Morricone. Riding motorcycles. Mackie's smile.
Hates: Plenty of things annoy me, given the right place and time, but nothing seems to reach the level of "hate".
Biggest Weakness: Doesn't know how to respond to these profile questions.
Biggest Strength: Modesty?
Derby Wife: Mac E. Avelli
Number of Tattoos: I like children and pets that belong to other people. Same for tattoos.
Awards: Narrowly lost Nobel prize to Obama in 2009.
Penalties: Failure to do laundry.
Famous For: Living a full and satisfying life in humble obscurity.
Injuries: Sprained and broken ankle. Sprained knee. Broken elbow. Fractured forearm. Fractured ribs. Separated shoulder. Dislocated fingers. Sprained wrist. Sprained shoulder. Sprained neck. Loose teeth. Rung bell. Rash and bruises.
Other: I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Chronic Speed
Number: 101
Teams: Vendolls & Rockabullies
Position: Blocker/Jammer
Status: Active
Member Since: January 2009
Quote: "Roll It and Hit It"
Bio: Shaping the future by day and creating chaos by night.
Loves: Eight wheels on my feet, my derby sisters, working out, drinks that come in the form of two (one for each hand), and well the rest goes up in smoke.
Hates: Wussies and derby girls that make ref calls in a pack.
Biggest Weakness: Believing we all can just get along...
Biggest Strength: Big guns and thunder thighs.
Number of Tattoos: Clean slate.
Famous For: Running through screendoors. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Clobberella
Number: 86'd
Teams: Battalion of Skates and Rockabullies
Position: Jammer, Blocker, Pivot
Status: VCDD Maternity Leave
Member Since: March 2008
Quote: "Suck it up, It's Derby!!!"
Bio: The love child of Titty Kitty and Anita Slaphoe, Clobberella was born with smarts, sex appeal and a toughness that most people find sado-masochistic. "People underestimate the nice looking girl!"
Loves: Hip checking my husband in public, Shocking people when I say "Fuck!", Taking a nap before a bout, new wheels, skittles, getting lead Jammer, Team Work!
Hates: Sore losers, sore winners, stinky pads, broken laces and stacked "B" teams.
Biggest Weakness: My hot teammates skating all up in my shizz, english bulldogs, captain & coke, comfy pajamas and popcorn.
Biggest Strength: Love from my derby girls and hubby, positive attitude, my long legs and speed.
Derby Wife: No wife, just a shy crush. I do have my derby Mommas Anita Slapahoe and Titty Kitty. My full name is Clobberella Kitty-Slapahoe
Number of Tattoos: 2 on my calves, more to come if I can come up with the scratch
Awards: Special Forces 2008, Most Improved 2009, Rack Em Up 2009 (Most Jammer Points B.O.S.), Follow the Leader 2009 (Lead Jammer Status), Award of Fistillence 2009 for Double Grand Slam.
Penalties: I don't pay attention to my faults. JK/LOL
Famous For: My super dorky special hip pads
Injuries: Tailbone, Shoulder, Hip bursitis/hematoma (twice), Loads of bruises. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Craigsfist
Number: C-95
Teams: Team R.E.F.
Position: Assistant Head Ref
Status: Keeping skaters in check.
Member Since: June 1, 2008
Quote: "Rules were NOT meant to be broken."
"It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt, then it's a minute in the box."
"All in, all in, all in.... OUT OF PLAY!"
Bio: I joined the VCDD ref crew in order to help a team/sport I enjoyed and to be a hero to my lady and little girl. It turns out they thought I was a hero for just being me and that derby is my calling.
Loves: Skating, derby, playing music/guitar/bass, comic books, movies and most importantly my lady and little girl.
Hates: Misconduct, gross misconduct, insubordination, gross insubordination, elbows, forearms, tripping, cutting, back blocks, high blocks, minors, majors and a general disregard for the rules.
Biggest Weakness: My patience level for misconduct, gross misconduct, insubordination, gross insubordination, elbows, forearms, tripping, cutting, back blocks, high blocks, minors, majors and a general disregard for the rules.
Biggest Strength: My ref crew and the confidence they give me when I hear any of them say, "Good call ref."
Derby Husband: My derby husband left me for Afternoon Double-D Lite and another city :(
Number of Tattoos: None, my body is a temple..... of doom.
Awards: 2008 Most Improved Ref, 2009 Best all-around Ref
Penalties: Only the ones I call
Famous For: The Fist (*warning: not responsible for accidental punches thrown while jam reffing) and my cheesy sense of humor (does anyone smell Gouda?)
Injuries: None from derby, but there is an electric pallet jack that has some serious pain coming its way (it won't even know when, but it's going to be brutal.)
|
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Curvacious Queen
Number: 5150
Team: The "Zebra" Team
Position: Positional Stats
Status: Very Active :)
Member Since: Feb. 2009
Quote: "Rope it in ladies"..."Watch your mouth"!!!..."Think i'm kidding? Try it and see what happens"!!!
Bio: Whats to know about me? The girls love to hate the Zebra's (and i'm ok with that)...I love what I do. And by next season, I hope to change up my position as a ref. So watch the f*ck out!!!
Loves: ROLLER DERBY!!!! What else is there?!!! Hot chicks in short skirts, knocking the hell out of each other???!!! It's FABULOUS!
Hates: Oh my, how much time do you have?! Well, being a ref, there are a lot of things I hate! Just remember...we ref's cannot catch everything, and we never will. We do our best, and will continue to do the best we can!
Biggest Strength: Always being there for my fellow ref's and will back them up 100%!!! "BLACK AND WHITE, ALWAYS RIGHT"!!!
Derby Wife: Daddy Dykalicious!!!
Number of Tattoos: 2...My "Queens" crown on my back is the most important one you need to know about!
Famous For: Screaming "Check your arm numbers"!!! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Daddy Dykalicious
Number: LM
Team: Zeebas
Position: Head Ref
Status: mostly active
Member Since: March of 2008
Quote: "GO TO THE BOX!!"
Loves: To finger girls to the box...
Hates: Insubordination.
Biggest Weakness: I have none...I'm a ref.
Biggest Strength: Being a hard ass.
Derby Wife: Curvacious Queen
Number of Tattoos: not enough....
Awards: Best Ref 2008; Special Forces 2008
Penalties: I don't get em, I give em.
Famous For: Knowing the rules. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Deadly Little "Mija"
Team: Zebras
Position: NSO/ Volunteer
Status: Active.
Member Since: March 2009
Quote: "She doesn't quite chop his head off. She makes a Pez dispenser out of him."
Bio: I am a Volunteer for VCDD. Derby is my new found love. I hope that I become a REF at one point. I am sugar and spice and everything nice...
Loves: Roller Derby,Black and white,Gray Goose Vodka, Chanel,a good fight.
Hates: Haters.
Biggest Weakness: Nice girls, Bad boys. Italian and French shoes.
Biggest Strength: Being observernt. Fast learner.
Derby Wife: Single and looking
Number of Tattoos: 5 and more to come!
Awards: So far I'm my own hero.
Penalties: I track them.
Famous For: being the quite one.
Injuries: None. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Doogie PlowsHer
Number: M.D.
Teams: The other guys.
Position: ......OH uh, The Team Mascot
Status: Active
Member Since: 3/17/09, skating since never.
Quote: "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: Everyone can see it,But only you get the warm felling it brings."
Bio: Well i got recruited by Titty Kitty.3/17/09. from free agency.And now buissness is a boomin.
Loves: Of course VEN DOLLS! Friends, boozin', hangin' @ Outlaws, and my '85 Caprice Classic.
Hates: Work, stress, and douch bags... also that damn Pedro Muerto!!
Biggest Weakness: My cat, Autumn Bottom.
Biggest Strength: My ability to embarass myself w/o fear!
Derby Wife: Me 4 now.
Number of Tattoos: 2 for now but i'm working on more.
Awards: 2009 Best Mascot Name.
Penalties: 3, the 1st game for in refs face.
Famous For: Dressing like other team and pissin em off!!
Injuries: *Tried* to jump over 2 rows of chairs... didn't make it and broke my ARSE!!! And running outta beer.
Other: It's hard out there for a mascot... but to everyone, players and fan's, thanx for the support! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Emma Go Getter
Number: 667
Teams: Battalion of Skates and Rockabullies
Position: Jammer, blocker
Status: Active
Member Since: January '09
Quote: "Fortune favors the tattooed heart..."
Bio: Definitely living two opposite lives!
Loves: Roller derby, Halloween, tattoos, scary movies, football, Johnny Depp :)
Hates: CHEATERS, liars, pessimism, and oh ya, CHEATERS!
Biggest Weakness: Getting sandwiched
Biggest Strength: Perserverance
Derby Wife: Chronic (But Sandra is my sanchita)
Number of Tattoos: 5
Injuries: Broken finger, I was Viciously B-Stroyed!
Other: I've made lots of good friends this past season with VCDD. Very proud to be a part of this league! Love you guys! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Fannie Foul Play
Number: I don't have one yet, but I crunch them all day long.
Teams: ...working hard to make one
Position: I'm down to try them all; I am figuring out which one feels the best!
Status: Fresh Meat
Member Since: June '09
Quote: "Thanks for kicking my A$$" or, maybe more frequently... "Can I get a water break?"
Loves: Having a cold brewski after practice.
Hates: Falling down for no reason at all.
Biggest Weakness: Besides my thighs still......My sweet tooth!
Biggest Strength: Self Determination
Derby Wife: My parents say I'm not old enough to date...
Number of Tattoos: If you can't see 'em, you don't need to know about 'em!
Awards: No...maybe one day?
Penalties: Never been to the "box" but occasionally get sentenced to planks!
Famous For: "Being too cute"....UGH!!!
Injuries: Nothing to brag about besides "newbie blisters." |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Good Golly Miss Mauly
Number: #5-0, always and forever 805
Teams: Rockabullies, Battalion of Vendolls (no man's land) and zebra stripes when the mood strikes me.
Position: Legs spread wide, screaming...
Status: Actively injured, always bitchin'.
Skating Since: ...the womb, playing derby since Feb. 2005
Quote: "ROLL HARD"
Bio: Old and angry and looking for an outlet.
Loves: Poker, greasy haired, tattoed Irish boys and their beer, old cars and shit talking.
Hates: Early mornings, hair, back talking, and dirty skaters.
Biggest Weakness: Cheesecake and hot paramedics.
Biggest Strength: My crackberry (organization), pepsi (alertness), and my mouth (too many attributes to name).
Derby Wife: Divorced, but currently crushing with adulterous thoughts.
Number of Tattoos: 2; you're Lucky if you get to see them (pun intended).
Penalties: What the hell are those?
Famous For: Serving opposing teammates penalties, cheesecakes, master juggling skills and... uhhh... derby.
Injuries: Shhhh, we don't talk about my post tramatic stress syndrome... |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Haterade
Number: H8
Teams: Haven't been drafted yet...PICK ME!
Position: still learning the game, but I think I like blocking best
Status: active
Member Since: June 2008
Quotes: "So much hatin', such little time",
"your face",
oh, and "I'M FUCKING TRYING!!"
Bio: I once was lost but now, with derby, I am found...
Loves: Booze, bruises, and beatdowns. My family, DERBY, pink hair,talking shit, drawing pinups,boys with tattoos, people who are beautiful and have no idea, hardcore techno, my Technic 1200s, fresh ink, drama, doing hip whips, getting whipped by a veteran (haaaang on!), dive bars, sarcasm, sushi-sake-sewer, fun people, ravin' with my derby luvahs, dressing silly, laughing at myself, and lastly...HATERS, cuz if they're hatin' on me, then I'm doing something RIGHT!
Hates: Quitters, boring people, racists,ignorance and intolerance, music snobs, girls who throw themselves all over guys or dumb it down for attention, wusses, lazy asses, people who complain but don't do shit about it, skanks with no self-respect, grouches, being told I can't do something, people who are overpaid for doing stupid shit, creepers,fast food blackouts, overpriced booze, stuck-up bitches, halitosis, having wobbly legs, and cheaters.
Biggest Weakness: my temper, lack of patience, late night sweets, my blackberry, holding grudges, making it personal, shirking my responsibilities for a great party, DJs, puppy dog eyes.
Biggest Strength: my temper,my ability to bounce back, good at salvaging a bad situation, never wanting to give up.
Derby Wife: I don't like to limit my options....
Number of Tattoos: You can just call me "Sadie the Painted Lady"
Awards: none yet.
Penalties: none
Famous For: falling down, and grabbing boobies along the way.
Injuries: Mostly bruises and now I have recurring muscle spasms in the neck from hitting drills with Ms. Ally Crash, she's quite literally the pain in my neck.
Derby, once it's in your blood it's for life. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Johnny Dash
Number: Lucky8
Teams: Ref Crew
Position: Jam/Pack Ref and NSO neat-o stuff
Status: Active
Member Since: Jan. 2010
Quote: "Life is a grave and i DIG it!" and "Go BIG or Go HOME!"
Bio: Born and raised in the Nard. Woop Woop! Ventura is chill as well... but anyways mainly patrolin' the streets by day, patrolin' the rink by night.
Loves: Besides my new love ROLLER DERBY... Chillin with friends, old cars/hotrods, sucker for Hearses, tattoos, good ol' rock 'n' roll, horror movies, slapin BASS, hittin up the PLUS, all that good stuff.
Hates: Rule/Law breakers, dirty players, bad attitudes, complainers, liers, cheaters, and fake personalities... be yourself.
Biggest Weakness: HOT Blonde Derby WOMEN! and Bettie 12GAGE... oh... and bein the youngin. BOO! haha.
Biggest Strength: Incredible SUPERSPEED! but only cause i was taught by the best.(6th grade teacher Chronie)
Derby Wife: Emma Go Getter... What a hottie!
Number of Tattoos: Zero....BLEH! But workin on it.
Awards: Iron Man Award 2010 (From Curvacious Queen)
Penalties: Yea i give em' and i always keep a spot open for Bettie in the box.
Famous For: Besides being so studly... being the youngin' of the bunch.
Injuries: Cuts, scrapes, bruises, no broken bones, and stitches on my right eyelid... ouch! But none yet from derby. I try to avoid gettin run over by the girls.. even at practice.
VCDD is seriously so awesome and im glad i was givin the opportunity to be a part of something so rad! ;D |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Kat Fight
Number: 65
Teams: Battalion and Sultry Seahags
Position: Jammer/Blocker
Status: Active
Member Since: Sept 2008
Quote: "F*&@ IT!"
Loves: My little guy, Jim Beam, CAKE!!! and pepto.
Biggest Weakness: Myself.
Biggest Strength: Myself.
Derby Wife: Too much of a whore to have one.
Number of Tattoos: Some.
Penalties: Where do i even begin...
Famous For: Pounding pepto like its water at a game and belching like a man.
Injuries: Fractured tailbone, puddle of blood with a broken upper jaw, bruises bruises bruises. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Krazee Kate
Number: 5150
Teams: Battalion of Skates & Sultry Seahags
Position: Blocker
Status: Active
Member Since: March 2008
Quote: Crazy isn't just a name.
Bio: After being picked up by the CHP for roller skating naked along highway 101 one evening; she was institutionalized at the little known Anacapa Center For Mental Health. Despite multiple electroshock treatments, after Kate heard of a rogue group of women on skates she knew her destiny. Shortly thereafter, she broke free, joined the Ventura County Derby Darlins and the rest is history.
Loves: Sharp objects, inflicting pain on others, a rowdy after party.
Hates: Electroshock therapy, the CHP, cute and fluffy things.
Biggest Weakness: Uh...your mom?!
Biggest Strength: Pent up aggression and anger.
Derby Wife: Single and looking for a lady!
Number of Tattoos: 4 but I would like to add more.
Awards: Purple Heart 2009
Penalties: What are those?
Injuries: I strained the muscles in my back at the end of the 2008 season and had some twisted vertebrae. I had surgery on my right knee at the end of August '09 after a section of bone died (the blood flow stopped causing osteo-necrosis). The doctor drilled 20 small holes in it to simulate a fracture and induce blood flow and healing. After being off skates for 5 months I'm looking forward to getting back on the rink with my girls. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Lady Death
Number: 11
Teams: Battalion of Skates & Seahags
Position: Jammer & Blocker
Status: Active, with bruises... always.
Member Since: October '07
Quote: "I don't do nice."
Bio: I look bad on the outside, but I'm nice on the inside... unless you're a vampirella or the other team's jammer. Also, I sell cars at auction.
Loves: All my derby chicks.
Hates: Attitudes.
Biggest Weakness: Handsy (likes to touch girls)... haha, & rip their shirts.
Biggest Strength: Running around beyatches.
Derby Wife: Mona Sleeza
Number of Tattoos: 7ish, including a whole back piece.
Awards: Lawnmower...
Penalties: Elbows 1st year... not just track cutting. But I'm getting better.
Famous For: Janet Jacksons... aka wardrobe malfunctions.
Injuries: Broken finger, the dreaded knee injury. Rink Rash & bruises are just a regular day. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Lolita GoTartley
Number: 42
Teams: Cadets
Skating Since: 10/2009
Quote: "dude... totally..."
Bio: born on april fool's day, naturally blonde, Polish, and my mother dropped me on my head at 4 weeks old. with all that stacked against me, think i turn out pretty damn good!
i am one of the wittiest, funniest, tell you like it is, broads you'll find... i'm also the biggest dork (we're talking D&D folks)...
born and raised in 1000 oaks... but have gotten out and seen the rest of the world many a time...
the quickest way to my heart is a shot of makers mark...
Loves: whiskey, cats, a good punk show, karaoke, of course derby, books, cheesy movies, and batman.
Hates: when there is no balance in the force...
Biggest Weakness: wearing my heart on my sleeve...
Biggest Strength: never being broken...
Derby Wife: Sharon My Pain
Number of Tattoos: 3
Famous For: tripping over myself
Injuries: only my pride... |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Lucille Balls Out
Number: 2-00
Position: Whatever gets me a little play time
Status: Active
Member Since: August 2009
Quote: "Life is like a box of chocolates ... you never know what you're gonna get."
Bio: As a newer skater and relatively new to California, VCDD has opened up a whole new world. Moved from Virginia two years ago, lucky enough to love my job and company, and proudest in life of my husband and son.
Loves: Accomplishing something that felt impossible, dancing like no one is watching, and singing karaoke. (AND OF COURSE DERBY!)
Hates: People that get so caught up in their own drama that they lose perspective and empathy for others. (Although I'm learning that empathy isn't really a good skill in this sport).
Biggest Weakness: Being succinct.
Biggest Strength: Dertermination.
Derby Wife: Mac (sorry Cheese...)
Number of Tattoos: 500 - just kidding ... none.
Injuries: Torn hamstring and bruised ego |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: La Jefa
Number: 8055
Teams: Battalion of Skates and Rockabullies
Position: Currently Blocker but on a mission to Jam!
Status: Active
Member Since: January 2007
Quote: "You don't think I'm Loca?"
Bio: Looks like a goofy white girl but hits like a Chola!
Loves: Tacos al Pastor, Locking it up!, Sitting on girls at the starting line.
Hates:
Biggest Weakness: Tap dancing around in my skates. Who wants to see that anyway?
Biggest Strength: Holding the LINE!
Derby Wife: Anti-Social Dee
Number of Tattoos: My very first, askate with stars surrounding it.
Awards: Fan Favorite 2008 for being the Best Announcer on the Block and Squeaky Clean 2009!
Penalties: Rarely
Famous For: Locking it up!
Injuries: Bah! Injuries! There's always something hurting, that doesn't mean its injured, just that its being used. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Miss Anita Slapahoe
Number: 40oz
Teams: The Badass Battallion of Skates!!! But a Rockabully was my starter!
Position: Because I love control and my a** up on it.. PIVOT is my friend.
Status: Active, Willing and able to drop it like its hot when necessary to get my jammer through!
Member Since: Feb 08
Quote: "Because sometimes you need ta slap the s**t outta dem hoes!!"
Bio: Unknown before.. then came Roller Derby!! Now my heart, my soul, my life has come to a better place and i have found my calling!
Loves: Roller Derby, MY VCDD TEAM including the REFS and NSOs!! Pinot Noirs, Cigs and a soy mocha, droppin it likes it hotter than Beyonce, gettin my soul on when i be sanging Proud Mary at karaoke, tattoos, pinups, getting slapped by Bettie12gage..mmmmm. Being freak nasty in the sheets with my man, some roscoes or some sushi yup yup!..my granny.
Hates: Dirty a$$ hoes.. snails.. attitudes.. douchebags..that stupid "caanviictt" crap in every single song that Akon is a part of... lol, brussel sprouts..broke ass mofos!.. Daisy from Rock of Love... ugghh with her nasty lookin a$$..
Biggest Weakness: Can't have just one derby woman to myself because i whore myself out.. i'm sayin have you seen these fine a$$ bitches out there on the team with me..you'd want them all for yourself too!
Biggest Strength: Keepin the memory of my a$$ in your face and holdin it on that line!
Derby Wife: Titty Kitty with her fine and luscious a$$.. but ... I cant leave out my "mistress".. you know who you are sexy lady! Damn youse a sexy bitch too!
Number of Tattoos: 1 for now...
Awards: Rain or Shine in 08
Penalties: Apparent track cutting and elbows.. but keep in mind it is rare ;-)
Famous For: Droppin it likes it hot.. gettin my soul on signing Proud Mary.
Injuries: Knee contusion, bruises, hair pullin, rink rash, etc.. the fun stuff!
Other: Thank you VCDD for givin your girl her voice! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Mona Sleeza
Number: 108...its my birthday for anyone who wants to get me something...
Team: The go getters
Position: What ever u need me to be! See what a good wifey I am.
Status: In a monoga.....oh, I'm active...
Member Since: A long time ago, since we were at Rollerdome! Thats OG.
Quote: "I'm sweatin like a whore in church!".....or ok its supposed to be derby related right? "DERBY or BUST that's how I roll!"
Bio: I'm a Libra, I like pina Colada's and getting caught in the rain. If you like makin love at midnight!!
Loves: My kids & hubby. Chewy chocolate cookies, clean sheets,
Roller Derby, the movie THE SANDLOT, peeing..u know what I mean, when u have been drinking and you hold it WAY to long!
Hates: Tailgaters, flaky people, burnt cookies ,pms (male and female) ticks...or any form of parasite, bad breath, people who say they play derby...yet never go to practice. Oh....and bad breath!
Biggest Weakness: Myself
Biggest Strength: I bake a mean bunch of brownies, and I'm tenacious, I've been told.
Derby Wife: Lady Death..my pookie, but i cheat with my dirty sancha BETTE 12g.
Number of Tattoos: Ummm..left arm sleeve, back and right leg.
Awards: Best friggin attitude two years running...
Penalties: Yeah, yeah, track cutting...better than cutting the CHEESE!!
Famous For: Being little, loud, and mean..well thats what my hubby says.
Injuries: I'm old what can I say...torn thigh muscle, torn miniscus (can't spell it, but it sucked!) Hairline fracture on wrist...it was already gimpy damn it! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Mountain Jew
Number: 711
Team: Zebras
Position: Head NSO
Member Since: June 2008
Quote: "Mountain Jew, Do the Jew, #711, open 24/7."
Bio: Really!?!?
Hates: Stupid Bitches.
Biggest Weakness: Anything with chili & cheese.
Number of Tattoos: 2 |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Neck Cutta
Number: 7-2
Team: Zebras
Position: NSO
Status: Active
Quote: "OH MAN Damn!"
Bio: Born and raised in Ventura, proud father.
Loves: Football, Roller Derby, FOOD, my baby girl Angelina and my Derby Wife.
Hates: UCLA Bruins!!!
Biggest Weakness: Missing my daughter while at work.
Biggest Strength: Bringing smiles to faces that need it.
Derby Wife: Abri Naughty
Number of Tattoos: 4
Awards: Being a Daddy
Penalties: Neck Cutting
Famous For: My one ear...
Injuries: I give them... |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Pabst Smear Ribbon
Number: 24oz
Teams: VenDolls and RockaBullies
Position: In front of you
Status: Menace to Sobriety! (also active skater)
Member Since: December 2008
Quote: "Crush 'em like a tall boy!"
Bio: I used to be known as "the face puncher" around Ventura. Now I only punch people with my a$$ on skates.
Loves: ROLLER DERBY! Pabst Blue Ribbon, Super Freak, Dive Bar reading club, my Schwinn Le Tour II, found-material sculpture and wrestling
Hates: Guinness...F*&@ THAT! Major track cuts; what a bummer!
Biggest Weakness: Not... major track cutting?
Biggest Strength: I'm a good communicator, a fast skater and I keep a level head.
Derby Wife: Afternoon DD-Lite (with a Shelbeast Kimical Reaction sandwich on the side)
Number of Tattoos: two black light tattoos from "The Crying of Lot 49" by Thomas Pynchon
Awards: 2008 Best Blocker, 2008 Rookie of the Year, 2008 Stinkiest pads silver Febreeze trophy
Penalties: Spilled tall can in backpack
Famous For: Giving pabst smears. (Wanna find out...?) |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Potti Mouth Patty
Number: FU-2
Teams: Vendolls & Seahags
Position: Outside blocker and Jammer
Status: Gettin' my "MoJo" back
Member Since: Feb. 2007
Quote: "I'm not mean, you're just a pussy."
Bio: Lost at sea on a family vacation when I was 5, I was rescued by a ship full of foul mouthed sailors...
Loves: Sneaking out for smoke breaks during half-time, being the Anti-Social fan club president, a perfectly timed hit, and naps.
Hates: Fred (my newbie blister), my stinky wrist guards, and bitches who whine about getting hit... it's derby, that's the point.
Biggest Weakness: Smarties from Hard Knock Liv before bouts.
Biggest Strength: They call me Miss Crafty.
Derby Wife: Titty Kitty and I were domestic partners, but I guess that wasn't good enough for her, so she up and married Anita Slapahoe. So I made Slapahoe my mistress. After the split, Titty and I had an illigitimate Love Child, Lucille Balls Out #2-00.
Number of Tattoos: Tattoos are tacky... lol.
Awards: 2007 Best Brawler... knocked up in '08... 2009 Squeaky Clean Award (don't worry... I'll work on that one) and 2009 Fisty - Most Triumphant Return.
Penalties: Apparently none... Miss Squeaky Clean over here!
Famous For: From back in our first season, cutting straight through the middle of the track to punch the biggest bitch on the other team and getting thrown out of the game.
Injuries: Severed tendons in both ankles, dislocated hip, and the usual rink rash and bruises.
#1 Fan: Tie between Hard Knock Liv (future star Jammer) and my son, Johnny Ace... also know as future head ref, Johnny Law... |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Rambo Randa
Number: 240
Teams: Cadets Captain
Position: still in training...probably blocker...one day a jammer
Status: Active
Member Since: October 2009
Quote: "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."
Bio: Was a VCDD fan and fell in love with roller derby...got my very own pair of skates and decided to join...now I simply can't get enough!
Loves: ROLLER DERBY!...My Derby Mama...the one and only Titty Kitty! Being silly and good laughs! My supportive husband and awesome son, bulldogs, new wheels, Spicy Bloody Marys, dessert, Rockabilly, car shows and motorcycles, and skating! TEAMWORK!
Hates: DRAMA, complainers with no answers, tripping myself while skating, sore losers and quitters
Biggest Weakness: bulldogs, dessert, endurance (working hard to make it a strength)
Biggest Strength: Motivating my team, being positive, pushing myself and never giving up and making my derby mama, Titty Kitty almost pee herself whenever we are together
Derby Wife: single.
Number of Tattoos: clean canvas
Injuries: just bruises... lots of bruises |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Sandra Bullet
Number: 305
Teams: Battalion of Skates, Sultry Seahags
Position: Blocker
Status: Active
Member Since: Febuary 2009
Quote: "Never trust a big butt and a smile...."
Bio: Tired of living and working in the plastic world of Hollywood, Sandra Bullet decided that she was going to stop being one of America's Sweethearts and join a roller derby gang. After kneeing Keanu Reeves in the nuts while filming their next big blockbuster, Sandra hitched a ride up the 101 and found her true calling. She may have been known as "Miss Congeniality" but she decided to cut that shit and become America's anti-sweetheart........
Loves: My daughter, skating, tattoos, whips and chubby boys
Hates: The word moist. It's just offensive. Just typing it is making me want to vomit.
Biggest Weakness: Gravity, cupcakes and chubby boys......
Biggest Strength: BOOTY POWER, and having my girl 2Nadi in the pack with me so the opposing jammer has to face the force that is the Nadis Wall of Death!!
Derby Wife: Damn whorebag Psycho Sancha... if she ever showed up once in while. In the meantime I'm happy to play dirty mistress to Emma Go Getter
Number of Tattoos: 7 and counting
Awards: None yet,but I am a superstar in my own mind
Penalties: Elbows usually
Famous For: Sending out mass text messages after drinking to much....
Injuries: Nothing but a few bumps and bruises so far
Other: I love VCDD and I am proud to be a part of such a kick ass derby family!!!
|
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Sharon My Pain
Number: #43 (Richard Petty anyone?)
Team: Cadets
Position: Blocker
Status: Active
Member Since: Derby: March 2008, VCDD: October 2009
Quote: "It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt and then it's hilarious!"
Bio: Nerd, dork, geek, which ever you want to use it's me. I am also the jack of all trades, master of none.
Loves: Besides derby...Gunsmoke Glenn (my little man), Anime, pirates, gaming (RPGs of course), Hello Kitty, DDR, NPR, Joss Whedon, Sam Raimi, Jager, contemporary cross stitch, socks, Star Wars, KITH, nachos
Hates: Liars, Ninjas, Lying ninjas
Biggest Weakness: shoes, free drinks, being too trusting, LOL cats, my memory, DMC floss
Biggest Strength: My sharp wit, my memory, determination
Derby Wife: Lolita GoTartley
Number of Tattoos: 0
Awards: None yet, but I am going after the stinkiest pads award
Penalties: I'm sure I'll rack some up
Famous For: being completely random, taking hits from Bettie and LOVING it.
Injuries: Lots of bruises |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: The Shelbeast
Number: 2-16
Teams: Battalion of Skates and Rockabullies
Position: Blocker
Status: Active
Member Since: 2007
Quote: "Um...you know that's a tortilla...right?"
Bio: I'm pretty much a huge nerd.
Loves: Being a Derby Darlin, science fiction, Mexican food, disco dancing, mojitos, the discovery channel, making lists, Doctor Who, video games, awesome sunglasses, dressing up for theme parties.
Hates: Keeping my elbows in, reality TV, know-it-alls, cleaning, screaming children, Jagermeister, and losing at Monopoly.
Biggest Weakness: Corrales burritos!
Biggest Strength: How bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away with MIND BULLETS!
Derby Wife: Dr Gyn 'o Might on the rocks with a Papst Smear twist (sounds uncomfortable)...
Number of Tattoos: I have one tattoo of an hourglass that looks a lot like a salt shaker on my back. My decision making skills at the age of 18 we're fantastic obviously.
Awards: Most improved 2007.
Injuries: Various annoying knee ailments. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Shirley Tarafying
Number: 11-8
Teams: Vendolls / Bomb Squad
Position: Jammer / Blocker
Status: active
Member Since: January 2009
Quote: "That's what she said."
Bio: I'm short, fiesty, compassionate, artistic, driven, aggressive, loyal and hard working.
Loves: VCDD (all things encompassing), Randy Randy, art, tattoos, Quentin Tarantino movies, music, traveling, and knockin a bitch around after a hard day at the office.
Hates: Asshole to wheel falls, fake personalities, lack of common sense and manners (Manners go along way dammit! 'Please' and 'Thank You' people), and don't get me started on spiders.
Biggest Weakness: In Derby, endurance; all other times, patience.
Biggest Strength: In Derby, gettin' looooooowww when jamming and my fightin' spirit; all other times, self awareness of who I am.
Derby Wife: PocaHottness
Number of Tattoos: 7 and counting...
Penalties: back blocking
Famous For: My fancy nancy green shorts!
Injuries: Minor knee injury (both) |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Shortney Love
Number: 80085
Teams: Cadets
Position: still trying them all out
Status: active (FreshMeat)
Skating Since: October 2009
Number of Tattoos: Nada Nuff
|
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Titty Kitty O'Leary
Number: 00
Teams: Vendolls, Sultry Seahags
Position: Pivot, Blocker, Humpy humper.
Status: Actively kicking some tail.
Member Since: Feb. '07
Quote: "Ice cream and cake! Do the Ice cream and cake! Ice cream and cake cake cake!"
Bio: So i was working in a titty bar....and in walks this kitty.............
Loves: Makin' cakes, makin' love, and takin' names...on skates.
Hates: The penalty box (where you can normally find me).
Biggest Weakness: CALORIES.
Biggest Strength: T&A.
Derby Wife: Miss hotness Anita Slapahoe (and our awesome derby daughter Clobberlla).
Number of Tattoos: 9, but theyve all kinda meshed together.
Awards: 2007 Best Blocker, 2008 Best Pivot, 2008 Best Ass
Penalties: YES.
Famous For: The Titty slide and The clam ram
Injuries: |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Vendetta Vixen
Number: 54
Teams: Vendolls Captain, Rockabullies
Position: Don't give me no damn panties.
Status: Active
Member Since: February 2007
Quote: "If the Good Lord had intended for us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates."
Loves: PLAYING DERBY! Skating outside. Breaking through a pack clean and clear because your blockers moved every bitch out of the way, and the other Jammer flat on her ass.
Hates: Ringers, butt falls
Biggest Weakness: Landing in the box
Biggest Strength: Knocking bitches down
Derby Wife: I have commitment issues
Number of Tattoos: Zero
Penalties: Too many
Famous For: My ass getting in people's way.
Injuries: Torn MCL, Sprained Ankle, Reoccurring Undiagnosed Mysterious knee injury.
Other: Viva la derby revolution! |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Vicious Ticious
Number: 32
Teams: Vendolls & Sultry Seahags
Position: Jammer & Blocker
Skating Since: I was 5 years old.
Quote: "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women" and "when all else fails through yourself under the bus."
Loves: Riding my bike to the beach, roller skating, recycling old stuff, snorkeling and laying out, lifting weights, & 420 lunch breaks.
Hates: Dirty Skaters.
Biggest Weakness: Thrift stores, sunglasses and lip gloss.
Biggest Strength: My own inner warrior Diva.
Derby Wife: Bettie 12G
Number of Tattoos: One, two, pick a few.
Awards: Purple heart last year... I broke my leg at Battle for the Coast 2008.
Penalties: I leave those up to my wife.
Injuries: From derby - broken arm, broken leg, broken heel, 2 black eyes, busted lip, rink rash, and torn ligaments in my ankle. |
| BACK TO TOP |
 |
Name: Vi Suvius
Number: 79AD
Teams: Battalion of Skates and Rockabullies
Position: Blocker...I may be slow, but I'm in your way.
Status: Active
Member Since: December 2007
Quote: "I aim to misbehave."
Bio: Hmmm...what can you say about one of the most notoriously destructive forces of nature??? :)
Loves: Roller Derby, illegal soap box racing, cars (especially American Muscle), motorcycles, Shiner Bohemian Black Lager, Pit Bulls (aka 60lb lap dogs), Captain Morgan, Demon Rum, Grogg, Newcastle, shiny sharp pointy things, Crows/Ravens, Drunken Buffalo Chili, action movies, Pirates, Ren Faire and Dirty Dave.
Hates: Light beer, non alcoholic beer (what is the point of either?), decaffinated coffee, diet soda(again, why?) Ignorance, elitism, chick flicks, illogical fear, sloppy drunks.
Biggest Weakness: tend to knock myself over from time to time...oh and I may be a little slow.
Biggest Strength: The only person that can really knock me down is...me. Persistence (some would call it stubbornness)
Derby Wife: none (can't really relate to most women, they tend to get offended too easily.)
Number of Tattoos: 7 at last count (or perhaps that should be 6.75 until the half sleeve is finished.)
Awards: Special award for selling out the Vendor hall for BFTC 2008 & Winner of "Best Tasting Chili" at the VCDD Chili Cookoff.
Penalties: Elbows & back blocking
Famous For: Not giving a f*!# ;)
Injuries: Broken ankle in 2008 (2 weeks before first game) |
| BACK TO TOP |
|
